Our chilly winter weather gave way to the Santa Ana winds which warmed the air to a balmy 75 degrees at the beach as we welcomed Twinless Twins into our home for an afternoon of camaraderie and healing on February 7th. As we always do, we invited the twins to bring their support person to our gatherings—for a couple of reasons: to allow the twin a level of comfort as they walk into a room of perhaps uncertainty and to allow the support person an avenue to learn how to help the twin.
It was wonderful to have twins that we’ve met before come together: Michael, twin to Joseph; Lea, twin to Eve; Amy, twin to Andrea (estranged); and we welcomed Rhoda, twin to Ruth to her first meeting. After our introductions, we had a potluck lunch and found out more about each other. Then we broke into two groups: The Twins went into a quiet gathering and the support people (Susan came to support Lea and Linda came to support Rhoda) were led to the beach by Rick (my support) for their time of talking and bonding.
The time with the twins, as always, was rewarding. Yes, there were some tears, but those are stepping stones to healing. We talked about ways to take care of ourselves and how to deal with the grieving process. And what our ‘new’ way of life is all about.
I read the history of the Apache Tear—where they came from and their meaning and why we may want to use them. In summary, these stones are powerful to heal someone from feeling grief and emotional distress. Each twin was given an Apache Tear to hold and make it ‘their own’ to take home.
We talked about how grief is a process that is always in motion. We talked about how our twins lived for thousands of days and passed in only one of those days and how it is important to celebrate the thousands of days. And most importantly, we recognized that moving on is not a betrayal of our twins or their memory.
Thank you, Twins, for coming to our February meeting and sharing the afternoon with us.
By Debe, twin to Carol