Our Blog

We Do This Year Together

a hand holding two sparklers with the words Facing 2018

I barely remember the first year without my twin, it felt like I was in a horror film. My job was to breath in and out and to survive the minutes of the day. I hated this. Pretty soon I realized I had survived a month and then two… and soon a whole year. Unbelievable – I never thought it was possible to survive even a second without her. At times, I felt angry that I was still alive and I had to face yet another year without my twin. If you are feeling this, it is normal and your twinless family understands this feeling. —Michelle Getchell, twin to Missy

The year 2018 will bring you a date of loss and a birth date. On top of that you may be facing a major life moment such as a graduation, wedding, birth of a child, or purchase of a new house. These are all things your twin would have known about or have been present for. TTSGI recognizes you may feel you can’t do it without your twin. This makes sense. Because you thought he/she would be here for all these moments. To help you feel less alone in the life moments, we invite you to post these moments as a comment to this blog post so that we, as a twinless community, can send you twin-hugs when you’re sad and twin-cheers to celebrate your accomplishments. Be assured we know the depth of the loss and longing your heart feels for your twin, especially in these big moments. You are not alone. We do 2018 together!

We also encourage you to read a post by Mary R. Morgan on “Grieving and Coping with Loss Over the Holidays”

6 thoughts on “We Do This Year Together

  1. I lost my twin sister, Elizabeth, on September 4, 2017.
    I’m still in a haze, not over the shock or sorrow of her departure.
    She had terminal cancer and I feel it was her desire and intention
    to end her life when it did, because she was tired and refused chemo for ovarian cancer.
    I know she was concerned about whether I’d be ok after she passed – we loved each other unconditionally and this was resolved when she left me .. full circle all forgiven wonderful memories but I am left feeling an emptiness I cannot begin to fathom.

  2. Dear Charles, Katherine
    I am so sorry for your terrible loss. But I share your pain and helplessness as I too lost my identical twin brother on Jan 28 this year at only 39 yrs old. The worst part is he was previously totally healthy and had no major sickness. He was playing and suddenly collapsed on the field holding his chest. We don’t yet know the exact cause of death.
    I am still in a state of shock and denial. I keep oscillating between a wreck crying and thinking about times spent with him which is practically my whole life and then almost in a state as if nothing happened.
    We were extremely close to the extent we even wore the exact same clothes as kids. We had the same friends circle. Went to the same school, college and B school.
    Katherine I feel I would ve been happier if we had got some time with him but it was so sudden that’s it’s difficult to believe.
    I have never lived a day without him atleast in spirit and I don’t know how to.
    Kapiltwinofkunal

  3. I have lost my twin at 25 years old. May 10 2017. The night he hung himself all i got was a text from him saying, “I love you, im sorry”. I got a “feeling” that night to where i knew something had happened. Now im left alone. Trying to cling to someone who, i can carry in “place of”.. First bday without him and i dont know what to do. Sometimes i become empty, alone, that leads me to suicide. We went thru the foster care system at 9 yrs old. He was/is the only one i knew, thru the walk of our whole lifes. Now he is gone and there is nobody for me to connect with. Bc everyone in both our lifes, came and gone. Friends, bio-family, adoptive family, and all the places we have been. His steps were my steps, as vise versa.

  4. Five weeks ago I lost my identical twin sister to a five year battle with cancer. She was remarkable because most people with her rare form of cancer only live on average for 18 months. I had the honor and privilege of moving in with my twin sister and brother and law ro help with her care. Not only will I miss her for what might be termed as a major life moment, I will miss the small daily things that were such a treasure. I am feeling raw, with a jagged hole in my heart. I feel incomplete. I now have to reinvent myself, redefine myself, I need to discover who I will become without the person I loved most in life. Holidays and birthdays will be a particular challenge. She taught friends and family what is was to have grace and how to embrace life no matter how difficult the situation was.

  5. A few things you mentioned are happening in 2018 that my twin sister would be celebrating with me. I (we) turn 50 in a couple weeks. We have shared every birthday so it is hard that she won’t be here to share this milestone year. Also, my husband and I are buying a different house and in May, my step son graduates from high school. She should be here for all of them…

    • Laura, we are so grateful you are part of this group. My twin passed 41 years ago. There have been dozens of milestones in those years. What I have learned to do is give myself a couple quiet moments at each event to honor my twin and her eternal soul that I like to believe is watching over me. By making a point to connect with her in that way it has given comfort as in some small way as I have ‘included’ her in the experience. Know there are thousands of us that are here for you; experiencing many of the same emotions. You are loved! From my twin heart to yours….TashaTwin2Tonya

Leave a Reply to Laura Robertson Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *