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We Do This Year Together

a hand holding two sparklers with the words Facing 2018

I barely remember the first year without my twin, it felt like I was in a horror film. My job was to breath in and out and to survive the minutes of the day. I hated this. Pretty soon I realized I had survived a month and then two… and soon a whole year. Unbelievable – I never thought it was possible to survive even a second without her. At times, I felt angry that I was still alive and I had to face yet another year without my twin. If you are feeling this, it is normal and your twinless family understands this feeling. —Michelle Getchell, twin to Missy

The year 2018 will bring you a date of loss and a birth date. On top of that you may be facing a major life moment such as a graduation, wedding, birth of a child, or purchase of a new house. These are all things your twin would have known about or have been present for. TTSGI recognizes you may feel you can’t do it without your twin. This makes sense. Because you thought he/she would be here for all these moments. To help you feel less alone in the life moments, we invite you to post these moments as a comment to this blog post so that we, as a twinless community, can send you twin-hugs when you’re sad and twin-cheers to celebrate your accomplishments. Be assured we know the depth of the loss and longing your heart feels for your twin, especially in these big moments. You are not alone. We do 2018 together!

We also encourage you to read a post by Mary R. Morgan on “Grieving and Coping with Loss Over the Holidays”

3 thoughts on “We Do This Year Together

  1. Five weeks ago I lost my identical twin sister to a five year battle with cancer. She was remarkable because most people with her rare form of cancer only live on average for 18 months. I had the honor and privilege of moving in with my twin sister and brother and law ro help with her care. Not only will I miss her for what might be termed as a major life moment, I will miss the small daily things that were such a treasure. I am feeling raw, with a jagged hole in my heart. I feel incomplete. I now have to reinvent myself, redefine myself, I need to discover who I will become without the person I loved most in life. Holidays and birthdays will be a particular challenge. She taught friends and family what is was to have grace and how to embrace life no matter how difficult the situation was.

  2. A few things you mentioned are happening in 2018 that my twin sister would be celebrating with me. I (we) turn 50 in a couple weeks. We have shared every birthday so it is hard that she won’t be here to share this milestone year. Also, my husband and I are buying a different house and in May, my step son graduates from high school. She should be here for all of them…

    • Laura, we are so grateful you are part of this group. My twin passed 41 years ago. There have been dozens of milestones in those years. What I have learned to do is give myself a couple quiet moments at each event to honor my twin and her eternal soul that I like to believe is watching over me. By making a point to connect with her in that way it has given comfort as in some small way as I have ‘included’ her in the experience. Know there are thousands of us that are here for you; experiencing many of the same emotions. You are loved! From my twin heart to yours….TashaTwin2Tonya

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